39 life tips for our daughter...at 33 weeks pregnant

1. Don't post vague announcements on Facebook. My daughter will not be that person.

2. Don't bite your nails.

3. Don't pick your cuticles.

4. Just leave your fingers alone. Trust me, it's a habit too hard to be broken.

5. Clear the timer on the microwave when you're done. Don't be the person who leaves extra time up, it's rude.

6. Know how to change a tire and check your car's oil. This will always come in handy when you least expect it.

7. A fridge shelf/drawer won't clean itself. Then again maybe in your day it might. You're lucky. Cleaning the fridge is the worst.

8. Don't pick your nose in the car. Contrary to popular belief, people can still see you.

9. Less makeup is more. Unless it's winter. Then more bronzer is more and that's always the way to go.

10. Speaking of makeup, make sure your face and neck always match. I don't care if you have to paint your neck brown, just make sure they match.

11. Love who you want to love.

12. Unless the person is horrible. Your dad and I will not ever tolerate horrible.

13. Always charge your phone before big events and big nights out.

14. Better yet, always put a phone charger in your purse.

15. Put on sunscreen everywhere, all of the time.

16. Make sure your toes are always painted. We live in Southern California where sandals are standard and your family are not known for our cute feet.

17. Don't date a guy who won't put the toilet seat down. It's just not worth it.

18. Be a dreamer. Follow some of those dreams.

19. No gym selfies EVER. If you work out, good for you. The world doesn't need to know.

20. Be weary of people who don't say "bless you" after a sneeze.

21. Live in a big city for at least little while in your life. Also live in a small town.

22. Do things that make you uncomfortable. Do them often.

23. Celebrate the crap out of birthdays. And half birthdays too if it suits you.

24. No bikini profile photos/cover photos on Facebook. I don't want to have to judge my own daughter. Same goes for duck face, "glancing" at the camera from over your shoulder, or provocatively biting your lip. Like I said, don't make me hate my own daughter for being a creeper.

25. Learn to be a morning person. It will benefit you in ways you don't even know yet.

26. When your gas light comes on, just go get gas already. No need to push it until it makes you (and me) nervous.

27. Some dishwashers just do a completely horrible job. Always rinse first.

28. Don't Snapchat. Actually, if Snapchat is still around when you're old enough to use it then the world is probably going to end soon anyway.

29. Play golf. It is really the best way to get into college free. It is also (sadly) still one of the best ways to get ahead in business, especially when you don't drink alcohol.

30. Resist the urge to be jerk in high school. And in life. And while driving. Being a jerk never pans out well.

31. Don't be lazy. Toilet paper goes on a roll, not set beside the toilet on the counter. This tip should be used liberally throughout life. 

32. If you're about to get a speeding ticket there's no shame in crying in front of an officer. There's also no shame in not crying. You do you.

33. Don't do a medical study for money.

34. Then again, a medical study can provide rich life experience and much needed college cash.

35. Do a medical study at least once, but don't let them take your DNA.

36. Never get a hair cut and color when you're already having a bad day.

37. Same goes for making irrational large purchases. You may think that a $300 pair of shoes will improve your mood. They will only make for a worse mood later.

38. Have fun. Or at least try to have fun. Don't be the Debbie Downer of the group.

39. Know how much we love you. Always. Especially when you mess up, because then we know you are doing it right.