How to grow a winter beard

I hate shaving. It hurts, a lot. That makes winter a great time to avoid this treacherous activity. Therefore, I have devised a 7-step pictorial process to show all men out there the simplicity of growing a nice full beard just in time for the holidays. And as you will see, this process can be carried over into all areas of life, not just facial follicle accumulation...

Step 1. Start Slow:

I dont believe in rushing into things in life. Take it slow at first and see how it feels to make sure you are heading in the right direction.

Step 2. Branch Out:

Now that you are comfortable with the way things feel, spread your wings ever so slowly and see what happens.

Step 3. Handle Bars of Safety:

Like riding that classic beach cruiser along the coast, handle bars offer a little safety and symmetry along your quest for bearded greatness.

Step 4. Savor the Flavor:

To quote a hero, "San Diego... drink it in."

Step 5. Guarding your Borders:

As many of you know, you must build up strong defenses to keep away the enemy. Subtle, yet significant to get that full look all beards require.

Step 6. Close, but not Complete:

Many companies rely on closers, or finishers to get the job done. Don't give up or you will lose the prize. Now is your time to shine!

Step 7. Look out Ladies!

'Nuff said...