(Day 23-before-31) Things I didn't learn in school

Okay parents and friends of mine that are parents...I am still unsure about this one...maybe this will be too much sharing? Let's see...

::Day 23::

Things I know that school didn't teach me

There are soooo many of these things!  Matt sometimes get upset because I tell folks that I don't get school.  I mean, I get school, I just don't get school.  You with me? Oh, no? Let me explain:

We need elementary and high school so that we can learn to play well with others. It's the ultimate socialization experiment. We can learn to treat people well how to get ahead by being the biggest personality and the best at people pleasing. Also being good at throwing parties. Kinda like life. Those are, in my opinion, the take-away lessons.

That said, I am hard-pressed to understand the point of actual high school curriculum, and that STAR testing? Gross. Waste. Of. Time.

Don't even get me started on college. Matt hates when I share this unpopular statement even more, but college is really just the best for prolonging adulthood a bit and living off your parents more efficiently (like as they send you money for bills and rent and you spend it on a good shopping spree and ice cream).
Love you mom and dad! 

Other than that? Not sure about the necessity of college. I feel like it maybe promotes laziness, and downplays the upsides of hard work. The world, by contrast? Only hard work, right off the bat. Sink or swim in real life. Most of the hardest working folks I know did not attend college. Perhaps they are the one-offs, but I sorta doubt it.

Okay, now to the point.
What have I learned in real life rather than in school:

1. Do not set a warm Pyrex dish on a cold, wet counter top. That baby will explode all over like a casserole bomb!

2. Do not try to open a plastic-wrapped anything with a sharp knife. While it is pointed toward you. On the night before college graduation. You will end up in the ER getting stitches. (Shout-out Enloe Medical Center!)

3. Things will start to fall apart on your body. Slowly but surely this happens, no matter how hard you attempt to circumnavigate. I married a 27-year-old with a bad back. Truth. But do not let the creaks and aches slow you down, 'cause after college you can make some expendable money! Go do allthethings!!

4. Everything I have learned about work-place knowledge, I learned at work.  Confession time: I had no idea how to type before I got my first job out of college! Just today, I had some trouble sending a fax and conferencing folks in on a 10-line phone. These are all the things that high school and college never teach us. Why is that? Are we so distracted getting our specialized (see: expensive) education that we think other people will always type our office memos as we dictate? This ain't Mad Men kids.

5. If every protractor, graphing calculator, and the quadratic equation never existed, I would still live a full and meaningful life.

And with that, I am going to wrap this one up before things get less popular and more out of hand!